Secrets of Life: Swingers
By Kanrei
This week’s secret of life is a day late, but not a dollar short. It is late because inspiration just did not strike me last night. I tried and tried to think of just the right topic, but nothing came to me until now when my phone rang.
A friend of mine was on the other end of the phone and she was finding herself scared to move forward. It was not that she was happy where she is, it is just that she knows it. Sometimes the fear of the unknown is worse than any torment you can endure. It is that voice telling you “things can always be worse” that sounds like our friend, but really is our worst enemy. As I spoke to her, I found myself quoting a movie and not realizing it until I was almost at my point. It was really strange, but I knew what I had to write about.
“Swingers” is a cult classic written by and starring Jon Favreau. It tells the story of a New Yorker named Mike Peters who broke up with his long time girlfriend to move to California to become an actor. It picks up with him six months into living in Los Angeles, failing as an actor and lonely: that desperate type of lonely. The type that urges you to go home and try to pretend you never left.
Mike is surrounded by a close circle of friends who, like himself are all transplants trying to make it in acting. Trent, as played by Vince Vaughn, is the smooth ladies man who represents the man inside Mike that is being killed by his depression. Rob, his cousin from back home as played by Ron Livingston, is his guardian angel there to define what is happening. The two of them spend the movie trying to teach poor lost Mike what it means to be successful in life.
Trent builds Mike up by trying to show him what everyone else sees: “You're so money and you don't even know it!” Trent spends the entire movie serving Mike’s destroyed ego and attempts to rebuild it from the outside. He takes Mike to Vegas, to parties, to every club and bar not known in L.A. to help him find the one night stand to cure his problems.
While sounding like “macho he-man” disco attitude towards dating, Trent actually does hit on a central truth. It is not really that you must behave that way so much as have that confidence. Life is all about confidence and how much others feel coming from you, but that is only part of the equation because, at the end of the movie, for all his confidence Trent is still alone.
Rob is the exact opposite of Trent. Rob is grounded in reality and focused on finding work as an actor rather than the night life. Rob is also the only one (from what I can gather) to have seen Mike while he was involved with his lost New York love. It is with this inside knowledge that Rob helps Mike come to grips with his past and his losses.
He explains to Mike that the problem with grief is that is becomes hard to let go of. He says that you carry the pain with you for so long that it becomes a part of you. You begin to depend on its being there, but it slowly fades overtime and you find yourself grieving the loss of the pain because you got used to carrying it.
Rob ends the movie without a date as well. Mike, however, combines the lessons of Trent and his confidence with Rob and his wisdom and becomes the man everyone had seen all along. Mike ends the movie with Heather Graham.
“Swingers” is one of the great movies made and the secret of life aspect of it is a bonus. If you have not seen this movie yet I am sure a rental place is still open right now.
My friend sounded much better at the end of the conversation. I think Ron's words words helps, but it took Trent's confidence to sell it. See how it works?
This week’s secret of life is a day late, but not a dollar short. It is late because inspiration just did not strike me last night. I tried and tried to think of just the right topic, but nothing came to me until now when my phone rang.A friend of mine was on the other end of the phone and she was finding herself scared to move forward. It was not that she was happy where she is, it is just that she knows it. Sometimes the fear of the unknown is worse than any torment you can endure. It is that voice telling you “things can always be worse” that sounds like our friend, but really is our worst enemy. As I spoke to her, I found myself quoting a movie and not realizing it until I was almost at my point. It was really strange, but I knew what I had to write about.
“Swingers” is a cult classic written by and starring Jon Favreau. It tells the story of a New Yorker named Mike Peters who broke up with his long time girlfriend to move to California to become an actor. It picks up with him six months into living in Los Angeles, failing as an actor and lonely: that desperate type of lonely. The type that urges you to go home and try to pretend you never left.
Mike is surrounded by a close circle of friends who, like himself are all transplants trying to make it in acting. Trent, as played by Vince Vaughn, is the smooth ladies man who represents the man inside Mike that is being killed by his depression. Rob, his cousin from back home as played by Ron Livingston, is his guardian angel there to define what is happening. The two of them spend the movie trying to teach poor lost Mike what it means to be successful in life.Trent builds Mike up by trying to show him what everyone else sees: “You're so money and you don't even know it!” Trent spends the entire movie serving Mike’s destroyed ego and attempts to rebuild it from the outside. He takes Mike to Vegas, to parties, to every club and bar not known in L.A. to help him find the one night stand to cure his problems.
I don't want you to be the guy in the PG-13 movie everyone's really hoping makes it happen. I want you to be like the guy in the rated R movie, you know, the guy you're not sure whether or not you like yet. You're not sure where he's coming from. Okay? You're a bad man. You're a bad man, Mikey. You're a bad man, bad man.
While sounding like “macho he-man” disco attitude towards dating, Trent actually does hit on a central truth. It is not really that you must behave that way so much as have that confidence. Life is all about confidence and how much others feel coming from you, but that is only part of the equation because, at the end of the movie, for all his confidence Trent is still alone.
Rob is the exact opposite of Trent. Rob is grounded in reality and focused on finding work as an actor rather than the night life. Rob is also the only one (from what I can gather) to have seen Mike while he was involved with his lost New York love. It is with this inside knowledge that Rob helps Mike come to grips with his past and his losses.“She's got her own life to deal with and that's in New York. She's a sweet girl and I love her to pieces, but fuck her, man. You got to get on with your life. You've got to let go of the past Mikey, and when you do, the future is beautiful.”
He explains to Mike that the problem with grief is that is becomes hard to let go of. He says that you carry the pain with you for so long that it becomes a part of you. You begin to depend on its being there, but it slowly fades overtime and you find yourself grieving the loss of the pain because you got used to carrying it.
“I mean at first you're going to pretend to forget about her, you'll not call her, I don't know, whatever... but then eventually, you really will forget about her.”
Rob ends the movie without a date as well. Mike, however, combines the lessons of Trent and his confidence with Rob and his wisdom and becomes the man everyone had seen all along. Mike ends the movie with Heather Graham.“Swingers” is one of the great movies made and the secret of life aspect of it is a bonus. If you have not seen this movie yet I am sure a rental place is still open right now.
My friend sounded much better at the end of the conversation. I think Ron's words words helps, but it took Trent's confidence to sell it. See how it works?
posted by Unknown at
6:46 PM
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